How to Write a Difficult Email
That uncomfortable email we have to write. We dread it and procrastinate on it. There's nothing worse than knowing there is no escaping it.
In all difficult situations, I am a huge proponent of talking face to face when there is a working relationship issue. Relationships matter and so all of the body language and inflections we give are instrumental pieces of communication.
That being said, sometimes you need it in writing to organize your thoughts, support your ideas and reflect accurately and professionally on where you stand.
I apply the same principles for writing those awkward and difficult emails professionally as I do personally.
Meanness is a thing and I really can't stand it. It poisons situations. No matter how your recipient has been to you, you can always be kind. This doesn't mean you are a pushover or aren't standing strong on your own values or policies.
These are some ways I approach when I have a difficult email to write:
1. Never start a sentence with YOU - it is easy to want to identify or want to assign responsibility to what your recipient has done to lead to this awful email. That sets you up for attack mode. It doesn’t work. Starting your sentences with I or us:
We have a problem (suggests your willingness to resolve it and work through it)
I am struggling with (suggests you aren’t blaming but are looking to problem solve)
I have an issue I want to discuss (suggests you aren’t running, you care enough to address it)
2. Describe what you see or know as true. For example, start with identifying the facts. These are not the emotional pieces but rather qualifiers that lead to the issue. They just remind both parties of the truth that is not debatable. It’s maybe the reason it’s worth having this email.
We have been working together for 3 months...
I have been writing blogs for you for 6 months.
Our partnership has made us $...
3. Finally, ALWAYS value the person but highlight the problem - CLEARLY. State it without waffling. Otherwise, it is like a breakup that really isn't a clear break. And if you want to work through it, say that too.
I can no longer work with you but I am willing to work on this.
I have to terminate our partnership.
I won't be able to continue our project at this time but definitely am open to trying again in the future.
Need help with difficult emails? Want a template? I got you! Head on over to my website and grab a free email template for writing difficult emails! I can help!
Need help with difficult emails? Want a template? I got you! Head on over to my website and grab a free email template for writing difficult emails! I can help!
Love your view,